I once heard the statement “life is what happens when we are busy making other plans”.  Over 30 years ago at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and lupus.  I had just given birth to our third son, my husband had a newly acquired Ph.D. in hand and we were off to conquer the world (it was the seventies remember). 

But while we made those plans, an ugly nightmare began to unfold; increasing weakness, weight loss, fever, swollen joints, unimaginable pain and fear of the unknown.  I gained new appreciation for people who suffered from any kind of pain, as well as an understanding for those who made the decision they couldn’t live with it. For me though, quality of life is as much a state of mind as it is a state of being.  

Not long after my diagnosis, a friend asked how I was feeling.  My reply was “Fine”.  She became very agitated and said; “I want to know the truth, just exactly how do you feel?”     

What I learned early in the course of this ordeal is that it does not help to tell people how I feel; doesn’t help them or me.  And I’ve also learned attitude is everything.  By pretending that I am doing great I begin to believe just a little part of that.  The more the pain is on my mind or on my lips the more life it receives and the more liveliness I lose.  Fortunately my very supportive husband and children have played this game with me over the years.  They know if I want to talk about it I will, but otherwise I try to pretend nothing is wrong.  Am I always successful?  Of course not, but there is much more to me than pain and disease and I would prefer to be identified by those other characteristics.  An acceptance of the path of our life helps us to gain peace; peace creates contentment; and contentment, happiness.